The Great American Eclipse Adventure - Prologue

Today officially kicks off the Great American Eclipse Adventure, even though we are still in Durham.  I have made lists, checked them twice, and plodded through the tasks.  As I write this, Bill is outside in the oppressive heat, cleaning out his car.

A friend at work who is also on a quest for the Great American Eclipse Adventure pointed out that cell service providers may not be able to handle the intense traffic in the Band of Totality and that ATM machines may run out of cash.  A wise traveller, indeed…  So we discussed the pros and cons of printing off or buying maps, and I realized I should get cash for the road.

So this morning, while I was having coffee with a friend, I planned to grab cash out of the ATM conveniently located just over there, but as we talked, I watched the Loomis Armored Car pull up to the ATM and wait a long time.  Both doors opened, and the driver got out, ear buds clearly visible in both ears, the cord hanging down to his shirt pocket.  I idly thought, while also speaking with my friend about the TV series Ascension, which you should all watch if you haven’t already, that if I were an armored car driver, I don’t think I would wear ear buds--it doesn’t seem safe.  His t-shirt and jeans looked a little too casual for the job as well, but whatevs.   I tuned in more closely to my friend’s conversation about the body on the man-made beach, and lost track of the Loomis truck.

Lo and behold, a few minutes later, two police cars drove up to the same ATM and began a detailed and intense scan of the machine and its little porch thingie.  Huh.  They eventually pulled off to the side, chatted about whatever it is cops chat about, and moved on.  

This is all to tell you why I decided not to use that ATM and was therefore waiting in line at the drive-up version further away from my house a little while later, flipping through Facebook.  I had seen fb rumors of a gathering in Durham of verybadpeople, but I did not believe them.  However, now, in line at the ATM, two things happened.  Someone I trust on fb, who lives downtown, said, “I have this confirmed.  There is a gathering of verybadpeople coming to Durham.”  I also got an official email from work stating that the Durham site (which is in a government building) was closed due to the gathering.  

I was ok, then, as I collected my money and started back home.  But then there was a red light, and I was sitting in a little bit of traffic, and I started to lose it.  Why were the verybadpeople coming here?  How did they possibly get a permit?  WHAT THE HELL???

The pressure rose in my chest, and I realized I was going to lose it.  I imagine anyone reading this has felt the same way.  What am I doing here?  This is 2017.  How did we lose so much ground???  I don’t have to reiterate any more than that, I’m sure.  I believe you can all relate.

By the time I got to the house I was overwrought -- my disgust and impotence shook me to my core, and I called out to Bill, who (poor thing) was arranging transportation for incarcerated gentlemen to sing at a church service next weekend and trying to get the paperwork all settled before we leave…  He came running as I started crying; I acknowledged that crying is stupid at a time like this, explained that I was overwrought and so very frustrated about the verybadpeople, and bless his WHOLE HEART, my crowd-hating, violence-abhorring, please-don’t-stand-too-close-to-me husband said, without missing the slightest beat, “What do we need to do?  Where do we go?  Let’s go.”

But, we live in Durham, so our town showed up, the verybadpeople did not, and a dance party broke out in the streets.  The country has a LOT of work to do, but I believe we can do it, because we do it in Durham.  We ain’t perfect, but we have gotten a lot of it right. I am so proud of my town.

So just like that, from eclipse adventuring to science fiction tv over a latte to armored truck madness to verybadpeople to dance party and back to eclipse adventuring.  What a day.

I have prepared for my trip with the following in mind:  we will be in a hot car for a long time, and then we will be in a hotel, walking distance to many restaurants.  But so will MILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE.  We will then be in a hot car for an even longer time and maybe might even not make it back on Tuesday.  So I packed as though we are camping, only in a hotel room equipped with a microwave and refrigerator.  We may all decide to eat out, which will mean standing in line.  But at least I will have the option not to.

(You’ll notice there are no diapers this time.  But we thought about it!)

Here’s our packing list:

Hard lemonade for me

Beer for Bill

Different beer for our host

The variety box of chips in little individual snack packs

Fig bar cookies

Nutter butters

A large bag of pretzels

24 cans of Coke

6-pack of Cheerwine

6-pack of Mountain Dew

COFFEE

Parmalat (for the coffee)

Cans of beef-barley soup

Steamer packs of noodles with beef

Various canned meats and beanie weenie type things (that’s all Bill)

A mega-bag of jerky

A box of caramel popcorn and one of toffee popcorn

Loaf of bread

Sandwich meat

Sliced cheese

Tomatoes

Hard-boiled eggs

Plums

Cherries

Large can of mixed nuts

Two smaller cans of cashews

Variety pack of Lance captain’s wafers

Water packed into previously consumed soda bottles & milk cartons

So you see, we have packed all the essentials…  We are ready for Eclipsapocalypse, people.  Here we go!